Portfolio Rejects

So it's time once more to try and go get a job, doing art or something else.  Meaning time to look over my drawing folder and see if I think any of it is fit for the eyes of potential bosses.  None of this is, to my mind.

This won't do on account of how it's sexy fanart. Plus the 

anatomy seems weird, like her neck is too bendy or something?  

Probably worth a redraw.

Unfinished, plus it doesn't really demonstrate the compliant spirit 

I associate with successful employment.

This is a picture of a developmentally-unfortunate dragon.

WHEN I LIVED IN THE PALACE

Remember when Ursula was talking about how she used

to live in Triton's palace? I wanted to see her young and dangerous years.

ZIEGFELD GIRL

This one is a bit nude, plus I think I can do the lighting better now.  Redraw!

YAY FOR DOLLS

Surely you cannot submit paper dolls, particularly paper dolls 

you've made of yourself or anime characters.

STRIPER

I'm worried that this one (of popular Shadowrun 

were-tiger Striper) is racist, and also about the lighting again.

Potential employers must never know that I routinely fill

character commissions for D&D friends.

Much pride still in my Doom emoticon set,

but it is possible to notice that the anger balloon

is pilfered from...I think a Sailor Moon game?

Keratin

Every, oh, year or so, I get the compulsion to paint my nails.  More often if I watch Bound.  So last night, looking at the creepiest way you can paint your nails (your exact skin color, matte--"mannequin hands") I got the bug and painted my nails with Urban Decay in Burnout.

If this looks like a terrible manicure to you, that is a true impression based on facts.  Some blame must lie with the polish itself, which was the worst possible combination of sheer, viscous, and quick to reach a half-dry state where the top layer can be torn away with the brush.  This may be down to the fact that it is, I would estimate, ten years old.  Most of the blame, however, is mine, as I have the nail-painting skills of someone who paints nails around once a year.

Having doubly coated them and waited two and a half hours, I was super pleased to have successfully removed my jeans without destroying my good work.  Somehow I always seem to be wearing jeans on these occasions, with their heavy canvas, uncooperative buttons, and embedded zips.  So I got them off successfully and I was so proud, running around the room and pumping my fists in the air.  Anyway, that was when I had to put sheets on my bed, and, well, carnage.

This morning, I arduously peeled all that stuff off and repainted them with a color of my own devising, a combination of my Aromaleigh foundation (chosen to neutralize pink tones in my face), a scoop of brick-toned powder blush, some body glitter (I don't know what became of this) and some drugstore clear topcoat.  It's...pretty matte, all right, but too light and yellowy-beige.  I need to think of Zora Neale Hurston's description of white ladies' hands in Dust Tracks on the Road, pale but pink at the tips like orchids. 

UPDATE: IMPROVED RESULT

Mixed two scoops Meow Cosmetics Inquisitive Mau (ugh) with one scoop Medusa's Makeup Pompeii. Tone and finish are just right, but it's a little too pink.  Next time Pennywise instead, I think.