Top this

But enough about my body!  Let's talk about my clothes.  The agony and the ecstasy of my sartorial existence has, for a long time, been this skirt.

 Isn't it wonderful?  I love it.  But what to wear it with, bearing in mind that I hate provoking a look of alarm or dismay in the faces of passers-by?  I have made many imperfect attempts at solving this conundrum.  The colors here, as it transpires, are hard to match, especially the brown.  And it mustn't be too elaborate or busy, else I risk looking "costumed", according to various style books.  I don't think I can help looking a bit costumed.

My first real attempts at getting an outfit together were these two sweaters.  The first is just absolutely awful.  I should look into getting it felted and/or cutting it up into something usable maybe.  The second is okay, but largely transparent and if it's cold enough to wear a camisole and a sweater it is probably cold enough to want long sleeves. 

 A brown shirt I'll often wear because it's got a cream and orange fleur de lis and it says Renew Orleans.  Though for all the good that sentiment seems to be doing it might as well say "Grease the earth of New Orleans, that nothing may grow there, lo, unto the seventh generation, when man is ruled by a race of irascible giants."

 I don't know, maybe if I lived at fucking Burning Man.

 This I actually like well, but it is too small and the buttons are snaps, meaning that I will spill forth if I make the error of bending or moving.

Not a bad color match, but a little busy for my taste. 

At least this combination looks intentional, if a bit Autumn Homeless.

Not a close match but DOG.  Also you can see me under-pronating here. 

In the category of "things I also don't know what to wear with or when I would wear them, maybe if I combine them".

No, no.  None of this.

A choli and its matching skirt worn as a wrap top.  Again, the first is probably only suitable for burning a man. 

A recent charity shop purchase.

I can't figure out how to wear this next one, by which I mean I literally cannot determine how to assemble the garment into some wearable form. 

Also obviously it's a weird clay beige color found nowhere on the skirt.  Fuck it, I should just wear a plain green top with this, shouldn't I?  Green.